


Don't be Afraid to Run

by MaddieandChimney



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:22:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24305092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney
Summary: "Don't be afraid to run, be afraid to stay." Those words have stuck with Maddie for over three years, so she takes a much needed trip to Hershey to thank the man who sparked the strength she needed to run.
Relationships: Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 6
Kudos: 38
Collections: Madney One-Shots





	Don't be Afraid to Run

_"Don't be afraid to run. Be afraid to stay."_

Maddie was nervous as she looked around the busy police station, her hand gently rubbing her bump in an attempt to calm herself down. This has been her idea, she had been the one who insisted on making the journey to Hershey - one, to see her parents and finally introduce them to the man she was going to have a baby with and secondly, to seek someone out who had helped shape the life she had made. 

He probably didn't remember her. He probably didn't even know how his words had such a profound impact on her life in months and years that followed. But she had remembered him. She still thought of his kind face, and his meaningful words - as though he wasn't just saying them because he had to, because it was the right thing to say but because he absolutely believed them. 

He could have so easily turned around and told Doug the truth as to why he was there that night, knocking on their door because a neighbour had complained, someone had heard them. And not for the first time. Doug knew, of course he knew, but the fact someone had tried to protect her when she couldn't even protect herself, had meant more to her than she truly acknowledged at the time.

The visit to her parents hadn't gone well, but her expectations had been low there. The fact she was pregnant with a man she wasn't married to was only the tip of the iceberg, they quickly took umbrage to the fact he was Korean. She had known, she had warned him; the visit had been quick. And in comparison to them meeting Doug (whom they had also hated from the beginning), she had made it as short and sweet as she could. She didn't argue, she didn't lower herself to their level. She had come there to tell them that she was with someone she loved more than anything, she was having a baby with him and she didn't care what they thought or how they felt. 

It wasn't easy. Knowing her child would probably grow up without any biological grandparents in her life, but she had a chosen family who would make sure she never felt as though she was missing out on anything or anyone. 

She just hoped that this part of their long journey would go better. This was the part she had truly set her heart on - finally thanking the Officer who had been the fuel for all the strength she had found to leave, months later. "Can I help you?" She had been lost in her own thoughts, just enjoying the way she could feel that little life move inside her, before she was shaken from her thoughts by the sound of a uniformed officer. "Are you okay?" 

His concern made her smile and she quickly nodded her head, "No-yeah, I'm not sure if I'm looking in the right place, it's been about, well, over three years since I last saw him... I'm looking for an Officer Crawford?" Her hope was raised by the recognition in the other mans eyes before he nodded his head. 

"He's actually on duty, I'll go see if I can find him." 

The stars were aligning, she thought, this was what she was meant to be doing. She only hoped he would feel as relieved and happy as she had when Josh had shown her just how much help she had given to the people she thought forgot about her. She was only standing there a few minutes when the man she recognised so easily was approaching her, his eyes still kind, his face still looking as concerned as it had that night. She wondered, for a moment, how many women he had spoken to, how many he had told to leave, how many people just like her there were in Hershey. 

"Mrs Kendall?" She outwardly flinched at the use of her married name, it had been a long time since she had used it and now her thoughts were often filled with dreams of being 'Mrs Han'. He wasn't to know, but he had remembered her and that was enough to give her the confidence she needed to smile at him. 

"It's Miss Buckley now," She confirmed, noting how his shoulders relaxed when he looked from her face, to the bump and then back up. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting you to remember..." It had thrown her off, a blush creeping onto her cheeks as she laughed nervously, "I um.. I had this whole speech planned but now I can't remember any of it." 

He was confused, but he still gestured for her to follow him, and she did - sitting down across from him once he had found a quiet place in the otherwise bustling station. "Do you need help?" He asked, his voice hesitant - Maddie could imagine how different she must have looked from the only image he had of her in his memory. 

"No, um... I was visiting... passing through, really and I guess I've been thinking about you a lot, especially since..." She gestured to her stomach, with a laugh and a shrug of her shoulders, "I just, I felt as though I owed it to you to say thank you. Thank you for what you said to me that night... I didn't leave straight away, but your words kept repeating in my head and I could remember your face, how kind you were to me, how you just... knew that something wasn't right that night." 

Her hands shook, she hadn't realised just how nervous she was - she supposed this was a man who had seen her in one of her darkest moments, it wasn't often she was around anyone who knew her whilst she was married to Doug. "I kept repeating those words when I packed my bag and left. I kept telling myself that you were right, I needed to be more afraid to stay than I ever was to run. And running was the most terrifying experience of my life but I got out." The tears started to fall, but she could see them brimming in his eyes too and she could see just how much he loved his job, how much he wanted to help people, just like she did. 

"He's dead." She announced it, not really sure how else to convey that when she said she got out, she meant she was one hundred per cent out and free of any clutch her husband had once had on her. "He came after me, he found me, but I didn't give up. I thought about you, that day, how you tried to protect me, how you tried to give me advice I didn't want to hear at that moment. And I remembered exactly what you said and how you said it, and it helped. I knew I had to fight, if I wanted to live without him, I had to fight." 

Maddie reached a hand out for his, and she gave it a tight squeeze as she smiled through the tears, "I have a good life now. I wanted you to know that, I wanted you to understand that, whilst you may not be able to help everybody, you helped me. Your words gave me something to focus on - you weren't the first officer to knock on our door, you weren't even the last. But you were the only one who didn't patronise me, or didn't try and fix everything right there and then. You didn't look at me like I was stupid for staying, or tell my husband the real reason you were there. You treated me like a human being and I needed that more than you can ever know." 

She could tell how grateful he was, how much relief he felt because she felt it, too. Just knowing out of the hundreds of calls she took, she might have just helped one person? That meant everything. And he might have turned up at the door of dozens of battered men and women, and he might have only helped her but that meant everything. "Your life is good?"

With a nod, Maddie removed her hand from his to take out her phone, pulling out the latest photograph she had of her, and her family. "I moved to LA, I'm a dispatcher now... this is my little brother, Evan..." She pointed at the man who was stood next to her beaming face, the photograph was only a few weeks old from the surprise baby shower he had thrown her. "These are all our family... and this is my fiancé, and the father to this lively one." Howie had been standing on the other side to her, facing the camera with a huge smile on his face, one arm wrapped around her shoulders and his other hand on her stomach. There were tears in his eyes, and she could remember him telling her that night how grateful he was for her, and for their family. How happy he was. 

"He's a good man." She confirmed, before the question could be asked, "A Paramedic, and he is patient, loving, gentle and safe. And I just needed you to know that, I needed you to know that I am so grateful to you." 

Officer Crawford wiped at his eyes and took a deep breath, "I always remembered you, I hoped you'd get out. I could still see some fight in your eyes. You didn't have to thank me though, you should thank yourself, you did the hard work." 

"That's what I keep telling her." Both of them looked up at the introduction of a new voice, one she recognised well. He was standing there, his eyes filled with tears but a smile on his face that still brought a smile to hers. "But she wanted to thank you and so did I, it's not always easy to know what to say or do in that situation and what you said to her, gave her hope. Hope enough to start thinking about getting the hell out of there." His hand was outstretched and the other man stood up before he took it, firmly shaking his hand. Their eyes connected for just a second, an unspoken confirmation that history was not about to repeat itself and she was safe at last. 

Their hands quickly dropped as Maddie struggled to stand up, both of them taking an arm each to steady her before she leaned up against Chimney, wrapping an arm around his waist. Her eyes remained on the man she remembered, noting how the kindness in his eyes still remained. "Thank you again," She spoke gently, only letting go of Chimney to wrap her arms around the man who was essentially one of the most influential strangers she had ever known. 

When she pulled back, she knew she hadn't wasted a trip - she could see the hope in his face that she had felt when Josh had helped her to see that she was so much more than a voice on the other end of the phone to so many people. If she could even give him a moment of that feeling, it was enough. It was more than enough.


End file.
